The Bee's Knees

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5/11/17ish 
Playing: So Will I
By: Hillsong United

You. Have. Cancer. Those 3 words changed my life in too many ways to count. Almost all ways if I’m honest. How could it not? I mean, cancer is different for every single person, but one thing is true for everyone: your identity is changed forever. Have you ever heard the term “find your new normal”? Chances are if you have, that you’ve had a huge life-changing event of some kind. I’ve had 5 life-changing events in less than a year. 5. 5 restarts. 5 heart stopping life pauses. 5 reasons I’m thankful for life everyday. But, I can’t fill you in right now. I’m trying to go in chronological order. Muhahaha. (evil laugh)

So, what do you do after that news? I cried for 2 minutes. Put on my big girl pants and kept packing up the room. My husband was going to get the car. I remember being so thankful that I was alone when I got the news. I could breathe. I could be not okay. I could let my hair and my guard down. Strength is a strange thing. You don’t realize you have it until you have to use it. I always thought of myself as being super weak. I ran from my past, from my anger, my hurt, my depression. If you were to look up fight or flight in the dictionary, you’d see my face under flight. NOT ANY MORE. Now we fight. Now we pray that God build us up and show us favor and for complete healing. Now we rest. I had people in my life at that time that helped me be brave. They were my life lines. Now we are strong.

I wasn’t a good “rester” until after I married Ian. If you know me personally, you know that I have a lot of energy. Cancer stole some of it, but I’m trying to steal it back. Anyways, Ian is the most chill person on planet earth. Jesus knew what I was going to need long before I did. Now, I love rest. Naps are the bee's knees. I feel like my body thanks me every time I sleep. Ian makes sure that I calm down and manage my stress. I’m thankful for him; very much so.

Stress. Might as well read killer. Friends, evaluate your life. Your rest. Your quality of friendships and relationships with your family. Are you working tirelessly every single day? Evaluate. Learn. Change. They don’t know why or how someone my age got colon cancer. There are just so many unknowns. One thing is true: lifestyle, genetics, and stress are major factors. Work to live, don’t live to work. Spend time with the ones you love and tell them you love them. You never know when it could be your last chance.

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